Miss Perfect Feet

I must admit that when it comes to this phenomenon, this intangible thing called love I really prefer the film version of it. Oh yes folks the movies! Can any of us honestly say that any of the scenarios in HD or otherwise has really happened to us? Can any of us look at a Jennifer Lopez  or Jennifer Aniston movie and say “oh yeah I’ve been there ?” No? I thought as much …

Please note I think that we need all of the believers in love because the majority of us are quite cynical when it comes to this affair. Hence the need for balance so kids wont grow up thinking every man is a dishonest loser, or every woman is a gold digging whore. Honestly guys isn’t this the picture we paint after having our hearts broken ? Do we not swear that this time is the last time so to hell with love and its attachments ? Those among you that hate valentines day stand up and shout.

Guys trust when I say we have all been there. I am yet to meet someone male or female that has not been a victim of Cupid’s evil twin brother a.k.a Heart Break Kid ! Say it with me ” I will get over this” “Nothing lasts forever, all comes to an end” “Life is what is most important !” Analyze your situation and you will note that even though you may feel like you were mauled by a pit bull then set ablaze there are others who are still not as fortunate as you have been and continue to be.

Life is the ultimate gift and love is merely one of the many accessories that the higher being has granted us to make our lives interesting. You may be single but what about the guy that is getting a divorce ? You could be a mistress or boyfriend #2 but what of the guy or gal that has never known what it is to feel loved ?

Life is to short my people, live, love, laugh, practice charity and always do your best at all that you attempt. Today may not be your day of victory but you can do it one day at a time. To the lovers be safe, be true, be fair, to the haters keep the faith your turn is always on the agenda, peace …

1 Comment » |

Over time I have noticed that people (women a lot more than men) constantly compare themselves and their lives to those of others. Why would anyone be their worst critic ? I must admit that I once suffered from this disease and can safely say I have been cured !
So what if your sister is happily married and you are still looking at 36 ? So what if you are the only guy in your “pack” that can not afford trips to exotic places every year ? So what if you are the least accomplished child of your parents ? Life  is way to short for us to be day dreaming of being someone else or laying up late at night , looking in a mirror counting what you see as your “zero” accomplishments.
Life does not belong to us, we have been granted this gift and as such live it to the fullest ! Find your niche ! Do what you want but not at the expense of others ! Love ! Give willingly ! Do not sweat the small stuff ! I am sure if you really analyze your life there are things that you have done that you never thought you could do.
The key is knowing who you are , what you need, what you want and have the common sense to plan how you can achieve all that should be yours in this life. We have been granted the grace of a higher being and even for those that do not believe in God you must know you were placed here for a reason. As such how could your life be worthless ? How could you be a “nobody” ? Snap out of it !
Walk away from that person that makes you feel like you are of no significance. Train yourself to sense negativity on all levels and zone out, do not let it consume you. When you do look in a mirror see you for who you are, a human being, the only one of you that was made, none of us are the same so revel in the fact that you are unique and therefore can not be compared to any other !
Lift your head my friend and acknowledge your greatness. Know what you want to do with your life and do it!

Alia Sari

2 Comments » |

Sigh … I have been forced to share a few words on the topic that all sexually active people fear, yes celibacy. Note I refer to it as cell-abacy because for some it is a form of imprisonment. Personally I think it is scary that so many people are infected with different S.T.D’s but in all honesty for most the reality of life with no sex somehow seems like more of a death sentence . This is not just my personal opinion trust me many of the women who have shared their thoughts could not begin to imagine what they would do without some form of sexual activity.
Guys we all know that there is a wide variety of toys invented to ensure that the orgasm visits us but I am sure that many people will agree that no inanimate object can replace what we all crave in the act itself. Call it love making, screwing who cares but at the end of the day it seems a lot easier to quit crack than quit the horizontal boogie. I have even exchanged ideas with my “christian girls” and even they went on and on about how they miss it and only church three times a week keeps them on the wagon (note a few were almost in tears).
Now celibacy is indeed our friend because it is the most effective way to stay clear of all sexually transmitted diseases but how many of us can truely walk the walk ? Which sexually active human being do you know that is celibate and loving it ? In all honesty I do know of some and take it from me it isn’t pretty. My people are always edgy, every other situation leads to an argument, they are very moody and at times just down right mean to others simply because they feel out of whack due to their celibacy. For them there is no release so making other people unhappy improves their mood. A little shouting match here or there makes them feel less uptight, know what I mean ?
What is it about this carnal knowledge that we all seem consumed or possessed to the point where the orgasm has become as important as the need for oxygen ? What is it that causes you to get out of bed at midnight, with the flu, in the rain, to go meet that booty call that you feel will save your life basically ? Trust me I have often wondered and asked what leads us to be so controlled and or consumed by the flesh and to date I can not give or get a specific answer …

1 Comment » |

Picture this: you’re sitting at a table at your favourite restaurant. Across from you is a man who is incredibly funny, smart, and can hold the most entertaining of conversations—though they may just really be about nothing at all. He is also extremely attractive—yet you have only come to realize this after having seen each other for the past 4 months…

(At this point, a warning bell should start sounding—but I’ll keep going, and maybe you’ll catch on to where I’m getting at…)

So, you guys finish eating and the man, being the charmer that he is, instinctively whips out his credit card to pay the bill. Paying for outings, giving ‘follow up’ phone calls after dates to ensure your safe arrival home, listening to your rants about how bitchy your girlfriend has been acting—even holding your hair back after you’ve had a few too many drinks—he does it all, and with a smile.

Now, doesn’t that sound like the perfect boyfriend?

Nope. Not quite: he’s actually your best friend.

Sometime within the four months of knowing one another, a defining moment occurred that ultimately marked your entrance of the ‘friend zone’. And if you’re unsure as to whether or not this incident has yet been initiated, just ask yourself one question: has he ever been physically affectionate? If you’re stumped on whether or not a hug counts as a sign of affection—stop kidding yourself, and accept that you’ve crossed the friendship line a long, long time ago. Now, if feelings of this nature are mutual, then the friend zone is quite a safe and comfortable place; yet if you’re one of those women who tends to want what they can’t have—like me—this can be a painfully difficult situation to be in, and risky to get out of as well.

Now, there are two ways of approaching this scenario:
(1) You set aside your emotions and take the situation for what it is. This is probably the smartest way to go—as there are many, many ways things could go terribly wrong if you attempted to change the circumstances of your friendship.

(2) You play your cards and chance the possibility of transforming your friendship into a relationship. Now, you could treat the matter much like removing a band-aid, openly admitting your feelings to get the matter over with. But, just like ripping off a band-aid, the aftermath can be quite painful; your guy-pal may just end up stinging you by failing to reciprocate the feelings mentioned. My personal advice would be to act as indirect as you possibly can. Rather than openly professing your emotions, insinuate them coyly. Be flirtatious, give compliments—do/say things that would suggest rather than confirm the feelings you have. And, once he begins to catch onto your implications (which may take awhile, as men tend to fail miserably in decoding our behavior…) he’ll either make the first move, meaning he’s interested, or he won’t. Ultimately, the onus is placed on him—which is the best way to go…Because, let’s face it: nothing sucks more than being rejected. Plus, look at it this way; if you’re ever turned away by some studly looking guy at a bar, you’re at least granted the grace of never having to see that face again. Now, imagine having to see that face on a daily basis—a constant reminder of the humility you’ve wrecked upon yourself—all because the face belongs to your very own best friend.

If you’re feeling a little queasy over the thought–don’t worry, we’re in the same boat. Just follow these classical words of wisdom, and you’ll be just fine: ‘better to be safe than sorry’.

3 Comments » |

A reader left a comment on my last Blog that prompted me to follow up with this.

Why do women change guys from the “sex guy” to the “love of my life” guy ? It is incidentally, a situation that I am sure we can date back to as far as dinosaurs, lets review some facts.
When I say facts, I am really referring to my opinion and experiences as well as that of the guys I have bullied into sharing their thoughts with me on this .
Guys it takes no scholar to see that women are the more emotional of this species. We are born this way and prone to be a lot more sensitive, it is part of why we make great mothers, wives etc. Women are three parts emotion one part water (trust me) and we need love in various forms. Now it is a fact that not a day passes in any corner of this planet without a man saying he is clueless as to why women are the way they are.
So she calls you up saying “I just need sex, no strings attached” and a man being three parts sex and one part water readily agrees. This goes on for sometime but gradually guys, you note minor changes. The booty calls are not always for booty. Your “sex buddy” starts sharing life experiences with you. Her problems, at work, with her family and with her friends. She wants to hang out with you in public more than she  has sex with you in private. Gradually guys you begin to notice that your sex friend is moving in on your life generally. The harsh reality of what has transpired will be noted by some sooner than others.
For the wise guys you note it from the time she starts forgetting stuff at your pad, for the not so wise it becomes clear to you when she calls every woman in your phone demanding that they stay away from “her man”, or worst she follows you on a date and basically makes a scene in a public. Guys it has been my observation that even the working girl (some say prostitute) tends to have one customer that she will favor. With women generally a man must appeal to us on some level before we can actually have sex with them. From the moment a woman sees you she can tell you if there is an attraction sexual or otherwise. So before she makes that call there is already a great possibility that she has some minute or major feelings for you. I believe it is a natural thing for human beings to have feelings that grow for anyone as they spend more time with them unless that person is a total pig of course.
Guys there are many things in life that can not be explained and this could be one of them. For some women the “booty call guy” remains just that, whether it is because he is not relationship material or he is only eye candy with no substance to match. Guys, when you are what any woman would consider the total package, you need to be careful because most women will automatically get more and more into you because you are basically a good man and they have had some feelings for you from the beginning.
Men be men, you can be stern without being mean. Let women know initially that you are not into a serious gig, where this fails look for the warning signs. Do not let a woman make you feel like the scum of the earth simply because she turned the tables on you. Be firm, be direct, regardless of how fragile a woman may seem trust me we can endure anything. Women are emotional creatures but that does not mean we are not logical or rational in normal or extreme cases. If your sex buddy turns out to be a psycho then that is your fault, didn’t you know she was crazy ?
Guys until next time, please share your views I would love to hear some of your sex buddies turned obsessive stories
until then focus, do what you know is right and always love yourself after God …peace.

3 Comments » |

In this economy, it’s no revelation that the job market is quite stringent. People are being laid off left, right and center, forced to scramble and take any opportunities available to ensure the bills are getting paid. For those who are lucky enough to sustain employment—it’s a matter of perseverance. Employers are showing no mercy, for they know that there are infinite stacks of resumes that can instantly replace their vulnerable workers. So, being the business minded opportunists that they are, what do they do? They increase workloads, they schedule not-so-convenient work hours—they slowly suck every remaining drop of life out of you! In return, you smile, nod, and at the end of the week, release a long, tiresome sigh as you cash your check, meanwhile trying to convince yourself that the hardships you’ve endured have been worthwhile…

OK—so, I can’t over generalize and say this is the case for ALL the currently employed, but for those who can certainly relate to such painful realities, just stop and ask yourself one question: how tight of a grip does money really have on you? To what extent, are you willing to make sacrifices for the ever-mighty dollar, and when does it become a loss of morale?

What I suggest, if you see yourself in a similar career limbo, is to weigh out your pro’s and con’s. First, determine what your ambitions and goals are. Then, consider how your current job hinders or assists in attaining such aspirations. Or, if you completely abhor your 9-5 routine, explore possible alternatives, if any, that can make waking up in the morning not such a horrible experience. Granted, if your current situation is a temporary means to an end; meaning, if it is only an inconvenient route you MUST take in order to reach a more favourable position, then suck it up. But, if you’re working somewhere that doesn’t necessarily contribute to the larger picture—your future career, then ditch it! Trust me, taking a 1-2 dollar pay-cut as an exchange for working a far more tolerable job may not seem like the smartest decision to make financially, but it is! In the end, you’ll be salvaging something that is, (or should be), of much greater value—your mental well-being! Remember, if you hate what you do, you’ll never be happy, and you’ll never work at your utmost potential. Pursue your dreams, and money, success and happiness will follow thereafter.

5 Comments » |

People we need to see fables for what they are , STORIES. In love it is always hard to do what is right when wrong feels like water to the thirsty man. Focus, if you are in an exclusive relationship there will be no doubt in your mind that it is real and not a fable. Think, if you have been committed over a year and you are yet to meet friends, family or even a pet … something is wrong
Ask yourself these questions. Does your significant other only visit at night when you are alone ? Is there always a reason why they can not make it to your company dinner or a family event ?  Are you introduced as the significant other or is it only your name that is surrendered ? Are all phone calls taken where you can not hear what is being said?
These are only a few of the many questions that you can ask yourself and know that something is not right. Honestly, what person would genuinely love you and act like they don’t know you in public ? Who can possibly love you but not introduce you to one friend, neighbor or cousin after many months of being involved ? Wake up ! Believe that you need to evaluate your “affair” and define it for what it is. Anyone that is cool with just being a “booty call” is their own business, but do not lower your self esteem further by allowing any man or woman to play you like the perpetual loser, where everyone knows that you are being use except you .
After evaluating, if your “partner ” is legit and they are, then it’s all good but if he or she isn’t , let that person know the time is now,  so put up or get out. If you are just a secret love its like Luther  Vandross sang “a secret love won’t ever be  true love” so go public or go bye bye. If you do not take control of your own life who will ? Ask yourself “who will look out for me?” and note that the answer will always be  God and yourself  because it seems like trust is broken by all things that breathe,  and that has blood within.
So make a list, ensure that the relationship you are in is the ideal one for you, do not fall prey to lies, stories, or fables. If you realize this “make believe affair” is not for you move on because in this assigned life the only constant is change… Bless you all

Alia Sari

4 Comments » |

With the sun beaming steady into the evening hours and temperatures entering the double digits, it’s safe to say that spring is FINALLY among us—and yes, I am aware that Spring had in fact officially started on March 20th, but with random snow falls and blistering cold temperatures scattered throughout the days thus far, welcoming Spring at this point isn’t too farfetched an idea wouldn’t you agree? Any who, as the weather takes its course preparing for the 2 solid months of beautiful weather Summer brings, we too must begin our Spring cleaning and commence our ‘maintenance duties’—addressing the areas we tend to neglect during the fall and winter months . Not sure what I mean or where to start? Here’s a refresher:

(1) Lose that extra 10 lbs of excess weight you’ve gained over the Holidays. Now’s the perfect time to lace up in your runners and go for a jog or brisk walk. You’re body has been in hibernation mode during the past couple of months, so devoting 30min to an hour a day will make a substantial difference on your physique and will have you back in your bathing suit shape just in time for the summer.

(2) Go get a pedicure, seriously. You’re feet have been constrained in boots and closed toe shoes for the past 7 months, unexposed from the public eye—so chances are they’re dry, corn-infested (depending on how tight fitting you wear your shoes) and un-polished. Spend the 25-30$ for a direly needed foot rejuvenating clean up; it’ll be worth every penny, TRUST ME!

(3) Do an inventory check of all spring/summer attire…and yes, that means getting rid of the worn down off-white sandals you’ve somehow convinced yourself into believing they’re still acceptable to be worn in public—it’s time to let go and move on. If the colour of anything you own has transformed since you first purchased it, that’s a clear indication of its legacy coming to an end. Dish out the cash and update your wardrobe, there’s nothing worse than starting off the new season with shoes/clothing that have straps that are pinned, duck-taped, glued—(or whatever ridiculously creative means you’ve taken to preserve the life of your torn and tattered apparel.)

(4) Make a plan! You only have 2 precious months of summer, and then the 10-month wait starts all over again—so make sure you don’t waste any time. Figure out what days you’re able to take off from work and figure out all the who, what, where and when’s ahead of time for your much anticipated holiday. That way, you’re guaranteeing that whatever it is you want to do over the summer will be accomplished, avoiding all problems that could arise otherwise if you were to leave it to the last minute. Plus, if you find yourself a little short on cash to put your plan to action early on, then you’re able to buy yourself enough time to budget accordingly to ensure that you’d have the funds needed when the predetermined date arrives. Avoid all disappointments!

(5) If you’re fairly pale skinned, get yourself some colour by frequenting a tanning salon or applying self-tanner—you want to develop a base before venturing off into the sun-light. Not only will you be evading any unwanted attention to your ghostly pale skin, you’ll also be more than likely to avoid getting burnt like a tomato in order to achieve a tan.

(6) Predetermine your method of hair removal weeks before you intend on strutting around in a bikini and exposing that maintained bikini line of yours. If shaving is your thing, then there’s no urgency to map out any re-coop time needed for your skin to react to any sensitivities. Waxing on the other hand, depending on your skin type, may take a few days to weeks for any swelling or redness to go away. Same thing goes for laser removal—and don’t think one session will do the trick; the efficiency of laser hair removal takes into account a variety of factors, including but not limited to: hair colour, texture, and type. With that being said, laser hair removal can be a process that can span out for months and months, so keep that in mind.

So there you have it ladies; your fool-proof list of tasks that will have you ready and set for the summer season. Feeling a little stressed or overwhelmed? Don’t sweat it! Chances are, a few of the suggestions mentioned won’t even apply to you specifically. I, on the other hand, have a lot of work to do!

3 Comments » |

True story…… Reminiscing  with a friend via telephone and that famous most resident skeleton in my  closets reared its head lol, or is it skull ? Nowadays the media refer to it as the cougar syndrome but we can call it the boy toy syndrome (since most of the women I refer to here are late twenties early thirties). In my survey of women  close to me  this situation is much more prevalent than we think and in other cases more top secret than it needs to be .
Darlings it has nothing in common with the “baby boy” that we rapped on previously but many women seem to have a sweet tooth for the younger man. In review this is what info resulted. The younger man has no problem with dating or pursuing the mature woman (mature meaning more experienced, older, refined ). Women, not being able to calm the “animal” that rises internally when their eyes are set on the prize, really do not care about age (once the victim is not a minor of course!). The youngun’ is oh so much more willing  to comply with the various demands of us women that we basically lose the shame in our game in a snap (or is it at the snap of a bra strap ?)
According to the more experienced in this area it is like drinking that elixir that puts sex in your stride, makes calenders reverse, adds lace to the wardrobe, fishnet to your personals, a whip to the head board and brings tight fitting Levi’s back to life ! It is such a wonderful feeling that it could not be put into words but all surveyed or found guilty of this shared similar phrases on this topic.
Who cares if the 21 year old chick is looking at you cross eyed, while you parade the streets, take a  seats at the cinema, drive him in your vehicles, or shop  with your two legged streak of lust (who just happens to be 23, 7 years younger than you lol) ? So what if your man is a boy toy ? Enjoy it while you need it to last ! Hurt no one, let none hurt you, never be preoccupied with opinions of the masses, use your own conscience and always remember whatever you are guilty of thousands of us are also ! Do right, live right, love always … Alia Sari

6 Comments » |

Though I was expecting a male to offer me some sort of insight or alternative perspective on the debate as to whether or not tall women should be able to wear high heels, it was only after discussing the matter with a female co-worker of mine that I’ve finally come to a definite conclusion. Interestingly enough, my female friend rationalized that, clothing—shirts, jeans, jackets, etc.—should adhere to a person’s physique; meaning that if you happened to be a woman blessed with ‘thunder thighs’, you’ll probably want to avoid sporting short-shorts during the summer season. So of course, because I had mentioned this in my previous blog, I smiled and nodded in agreement, but wasn’t really sure what point she was trying to make by mentioning such a blatantly agreeable remark. And then she went on saying; “a woman’s shoes should be a representation of her personality—so, a woman who exerts confidence should be expected to be wearing heels, because, as all of us women know, confidence = sexiness, a woman in heels=sexiness, therefore, confident woman = a woman in heels.” I was quite impressed with her logic, as it seemed to make complete sense; but of course, being the realist that I am, I just HAD to try and rebut her claim, thinking of any extenuating circumstance that would disprove her well stated point…and yet I could not. I considered the types of shoes that I typically wear and the person I perceive myself to be—converse running shoes = laid back, closed-toe flats = shy, random = funky boots (ie: cow boy boots, boxing boots…I know, I’m weird )–and it all seemed to add up just fine. So there you have it, ladies and gents, a perfectly stated hypothesis, tested and verified, ultimately suggests that a tall woman CAN and SHOULD be able to wear heels DESPITE the fact that she will tower over anyone and everyone in her proximity, because let’s face it, if she’s willing to wear the heels, then she is definitely NOT insecure, so standing out in a crowd wouldn’t be an issue in the first place. Now, let’s put this issue to bed, shall we?

8 Comments » |